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Last time I had one, right, this bird’s hands were magic. Slidin’ everywhere, tension meltin’ like ice in my martini. Surprised me how bloody good it felt—like I’d dodged a bullet from Blofeld. “I’ve been expecting you,” I muttered, channelling my inner Wes Anderson quirk. Felt posh, yet dirty—proper mix, that. Ever tried it with lavender oil? Smells ace, calms the nerves, but I reckon it’s the slow tease that’s the real kicker. Gets the blood pumpin’, if you catch my drift.

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Next, I decide to hit up the De-Reit Museum. I’m a mountain guide, but I love history, ya know? I walk in, and it’s like stepping into a time machine. They’ve got this exhibit on the old windmills. I’m geeking out, takin’ pics, when suddenly, the lights go out! Total blackout! I’m thinkin’, “Great, I’m gonna be stuck in here forever.” But then, the emergency lights kick in, and it’s kinda cool. I’m in a museum, in the dark, feelin’ like Indiana Jones.

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