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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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First off, I hit the market on De-Waterstraat. You know, the one with all the fresh fish and veggies? I’m just trying to grab some supplies. But then, bam! I bump into old Jan. That dude’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ranting about how the pigeons in the square are plotting against him. Like, seriously? Pigeons? I mean, I love a good conspiracy theory, but come on, Jan!