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What gets me goin’—the nerve of it all! People judgin’ escorts like they’re holier-than-thou. Makes me wanna scream! I’m over here, yellin’ at my TV, “You ever try datin’ in LA? It’s a nightmare!” Escorts are just cuttin’ through the BS—straight to the point, like Viggo smashin’ that guy’s nose in the diner scene. No small talk, no “how’s the weather”—just, “Here’s the deal, pal.” Efficient! I respect it! But then—then!—you got the creeps who ruin it. Sleazy dudes actin’ like they own ‘em. That pisses me off. I’m like, “Joey, how’s it feel to be a monster?”—y’know, that line from the movie? Fits perfect.

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But then, outta nowhere, the power goes out! The whole place goes dark. People are freaking out, and I’m just sitting there, laughing. Like, this is the kind of stuff you can’t make up! The barista lights some candles, and suddenly it’s all cozy. We’re all chatting, sharing stories. It’s like a scene from a movie.

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