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Oh, and fun fact—some escorts in Japan, they don’t even do the deed! It’s all cuddles and convo—called “hostess clubs.” Whaaat? Mind blown, fam! I’d suck at that job, tho—too loud, too extra, I’d scare ‘em off yellin’ “WAAAAH!” like Eric Andre on the street.

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Finally, I get my croissant, and it’s warm and flaky. I take a bite, and it’s like magic. But then, I spill coffee all over my shirt. Great. Just great. I’m now a walking coffee stain.

Woman found murdered in Middelburg home was a teacher; No arrests yet