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But lemme tell ya what gets my goat—some folks act like it’s all fun and games, and I’m over here like, “Honey, this ain’t no hoedown!” I saw this one gal—tough as nails—dodgin’ cops like she’s in a dang movie chase. Reminded me of Viggo Mortensen’s face-off in that diner—cool as a cucumber, but you know she’s scared spitless underneath. Made me sad, y’all. She’s out there, hustlin’, and I’m wonderin’—who’s lookin’ out for her? Got me all teary, thinkin’ ‘bout it.
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But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my croissant! Like, dude, chill! It’s not your breakfast! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, and people are staring. I’m like, “What? You’ve never seen a guy fight a pigeon before?”
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