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Now, real talk – I stumbled on this dope fact: erotic-massage goes back centuries. Ancient Greeks were all about it – called it “anatripsis.” They’d get oiled up, naked, no shame, just vibes. Blew my mind! Imagine some buff Spartan goin’, “Yo, rub me down, I’m tense from spear-throwin’!” Makes me laugh, but damn, they knew how to live.

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Then I hit up the market on de Korte Dijk. Man, the vibe was lit! Fresh veggies, flowers everywhere. I’m like a kid in a candy store. I grab some radishes, ‘cause, ya know, gotta keep it healthy. But then, I see this old lady, right? She’s tryin’ to haggle over a bunch of tulips. I’m talkin’ full-on negotiation mode. “I’ll give ya two euros!” she says. The vendor’s like, “Lady, these are worth five!” I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ my ass off.

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