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Sometimes I tink, what if I was a john, ya? I’d prolly suck at it—too loud, too Austrian, ha! “Get to da chopper!” I’d yell, and dey’d be like, “Arnold, chill, we’re in a motel!” Funny as hell, picturin’ dat. But real talk, I respect ‘em, dey grind harder den most. Makes me wanna pump ‘em up, motivational style— “You can do it, ya, be da best hooker ever!”

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But then, she says something wild. She claims there’s a ghost haunting the old church on the Kerkstraat. I’m like, “No way!” But she’s dead serious. I mean, I love a good ghost story, but c’mon! I’m not about to go ghost hunting in a small town.

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