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About Tilburg

Aight, so check it—I’ve been on these apps, scrollin’, chasin’ that thrill. You ever notice how folks be lyin’ ‘bout their height? Bruh, 5’9” ain’t 6’2”, stop cappin’! Makes me mad as hell, but then—bam—ya match with a dime, and it’s all “Started from the bottom, now we here.” Happy vibes, ya dig? One time, I linked up with this chick—swore she was a model. Turns out, she catfished me hard—looked like my auntie’s bulldog. I was HEATED, fam! “Who are you? Who sent you?”—straight outta *Caché*, that paranoia hittin’.

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Next, I decide to hit up the old church on the Markt. It’s beautiful, right? But as I’m admiring it, I trip over a cobblestone. Seriously, who thought cobblestones were a good idea? I’m on the ground, feeling like a total klutz. A couple of tourists laugh, and I just wave it off. “Yeah, I meant to do that!”

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