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Hey there, folks, it’s me—Joe—your ol’ pal! So, sexual-massage, huh? Here’s the deal… I stumbled into this joint once—back in Scranton, ‘course—lookin’ for a regular rubdown, ya know? Shoulders achin’ from haulin’ campaign signs. Walked in, dim lights, some gal in a silk robe says, “You want the *special*?” I’m thinkin’, “Special? Like extra ketchup at the diner?” Nope! Turns out—sexual-massage ain’t just a backrub, folks—it’s a whole dang experience! Little known fact—back in the ‘70s, these parlors popped up like dandelions after Nixon—people cravin’ somethin’ wild post-Watergate. Ain’t that a kick?

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So, I’m walkin’ back to the harbor, feelin’ good with my new cap, when I see this group of kids playin’ soccer on the street. They were havin’ a blast, kickin’ the ball around. I couldn’t help but smile. Reminded me of my childhood, ya know? But then, one of ‘em kicked the ball right at me! I barely dodged it. I yelled, “Watch it, kid!” But they just laughed. Kids these days, man. No respect!

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