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About Rotterdam

Alright, pal, buckle up. I’m Dr. House—sarcastic, gimpy, and “everybody lies.” So, sex escorts, huh? Let’s dive in. I’m picturing it—some slick dame or dude, dolled up, struttin’ like they own the night. Reminds me of *Far From Heaven*—you seen it? My fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2002. Cathy Whitaker, all prim, trapped in her pastel hell, smilin’ while her world’s a lie. Escorts? They’re the opposite—upfront about the game. No fake “perfect wife” bullshit. Cash on the table, bam, done.

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, the fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “Seriously? In Breukelen?!” Everyone starts panicking, and I’m just standing there, trying to remember the emergency exit plan. Spoiler: I don’t. So, I grab the nearest kid and yell, “Follow me!” We bolt out the door onto the Breukelerstraat.

15 questions with... Breukelen Woodard, a Penn women's soccer senior