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*raspy cackle* My precious! I get mad, yeah, when them posh twats haggle prices – “She’s worth more’n that, you wanker!” Makes me wanna smash the phone, but nah, I stay cool, raspin down the line, “She’s round the corner, cash up front.” Happy tho, when a reg calls – good lad, tips big, ain’t a creep. Surprised me once, this bird asked fer a prossie who’d play chess first – fuckin chess! Swear down, nearly choked on me tea.

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Hey, we need you at the old church on Molenstraat.” I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” So, I pack up my stuff and head over. The church is beautiful, but man, it’s a pain to work on. I’m up on a ladder, blasting away, and I’m thinking, “Why do I do this?”

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