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About The Hague

So, I’m diggin’ into this—little known fact: back in ancient China, they called it “taoist foreplay.” Freaky, right? Emperors got off on it, swear! Makes me happy thinkin’—power and pleasure, hell yeah! But then—ugh—some sleazy spa ad pops up, “happy ending, $20!” and I’m pissed. Cheapens the whole damn thing! I’m yellin’ at my screen, “This ain’t no fast-food rubdown, jerks!” It’s art, like a slow guitar solo, not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am.

Encyclopædia of the sublime

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, drenched, and I’m like, “This is just great.” I duck into a café on the corner of the Zwarteweg. I order a coffee, and the barista is super cute. I’m tryin’ to play it cool, but my hair’s a mess. Ugh! I’m like, “Can I get a coffee and a towel, please?” She laughs, and I’m like, “Score!”

How do you like these rare apples?