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Now, don’t get me wrong—it ain’t all roses. Some shady parlors out there, exploitin’ workers, chargin’ insane prices. Pisses me off! I’m yellin’, “Let the people have their damn massages!” But when it’s good? Oh, it’s good—happy as hell, like I just won Vermont. You’re relaxed, buzzin’, maybe even gigglin’ at how goofy it feels. Ever try it with a partner? Spicy twist—me and Jane tried once, ended up laughin’ ‘til we cried. “Nature’s a cruel bitch,” I wheezed, quotin’ *25th Hour*, ‘cause we’re old and clumsy.

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I head back to the shop, and it’s packed. Everyone’s buzzin’ about the fire. “Did you see it?” “Was it crazy?” I’m like, “You guys missed the real show!”

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