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So, I’m chattin’ with my gal pal Lisa once. She’s all, “Marge, I scored last night!” I’m like, “Whaaat? Spill it!” Turns out, she met this dude on Bumble. Total stud, but—get this—he’s married! Didn’t tell her ‘til after. I was pissed! “You mustn’t be so sensitive,” Haneke’s folks’d say. But me? I’m naggin’, “Hmm… check profiles better, Lisa!”

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Then, outta nowhere, the door swings open. It’s Lisa from the bakery down the street. She’s all flustered, hair a mess, flour on her face. “Help! My oven’s on fire!” I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But I can’t leave Mr. Jansen hangin’. So I’m like, “Call the fire department!” She gives me this look like I just suggested she jump in the canal.

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