Julia Bilgaard Whore ❤️

About Utrecht

Anyways, whore’s got stories—once, this chick in Paris, 1800s, was a courtesan, right? Lived in a legit palace, had kings drooling. Goals! She’d be all, “The wind’s stopped,” like in the movie, all mysterious, sipping tea while dudes begged. I’m dying, she’s iconic. I’d be her BFF, for realz. Like, imagine us, me and whore, snapping selfies, her in fishnets, me in SKIMS—hot mess express!

Amateur Hoeren?

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this café called “De Groene Boom.” I mean, come on, how could I resist? I’m a forester, I love trees! I pop in for a coffee, and the barista? Total character. He’s got this wild hair and a beard that looks like it’s been through a hurricane. I order a cappuccino, and he’s like, “You want it with a sprinkle of tree bark?” I laugh, but he’s dead serious. I’m like, “Nah, man, just the coffee, please.”