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About Tilburg

So, I’m lyin’ there, right, thinkin’—gods, this is nice. Better than wine, almost. The masseuse—let’s call her Sybil—knows tricks I didn’t even dream of. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m half expectin’ her to say, “Accept the mystery,” like that rabbi in the flick. But nah, she’s quiet—too quiet. Makes me paranoid. Is she judgin’ me? My hairy arse? My stubby legs? Piss off, I think—then she hits this spot, and I’m groanin’ like a hog in heat. Happy? Oh, mate, I’m bloody ecstatic.

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Then I hit up the local market on the Kerkstraat. Fresh veggies, flowers, you name it. I was feelin’ all healthy and stuff. But then I saw this guy selling stroopwafels. I mean, c’mon, who can resist that? I bought one, and it was like heaven in my mouth. I was so happy, I could’ve danced right there!

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