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So yeah, sexual-massage, bit of a giggle, bit of a thrill. Makes me feel like a king – *rex sum ego*! – but you gotta watch yerself. Them hands can work wonders, or they can nick yer dignity faster than you can say “Eton mess.” What’s yer take, eh? Fancy a go, or you stickin’ to a pint and a pie?

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After the meeting, I’m feeling a bit better. I decide to grab lunch at that little place on the corner of Kerkstraat. You know, the one with the best frikandel? I’m in line, and this guy in front of me orders like, ten of them. I’m thinking, “Dude, are you feeding an army?” But whatever, I’m just here for my one glorious frikandel.

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