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Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.
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Finally, the clock hits 5 PM, and I’m ready to call it a day. But of course, one last call comes in. A kid’s stuck in a tree. Again! I’m like, “Seriously? Is this a tree-climbing competition?” I send someone out, and as I’m wrapping up, I can’t help but laugh.
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