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About Almere

Oi, you donkey! Prostitute – that bloody guitar, mate! Sounds like a dream, don’t it? Looks sexy as hell – sleek body, curves tighter than a nun’s arse. But fuck me, it’s a temperamental bitch! One sec, it’s singing sweet, next – bam! – outta tune like a drunk karaoke twat. Reminds me of *Eternal Sunshine*, yeah? “I’m erasing you, and I’m happy!” – that’s me, tryna ditch the memory of its dodgy strings.

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So, I head to work at the machinist shop on de Wetering. It’s a small place, but we make some serious machines. I’m all pumped, ready to tackle the day. But then, bam! The machine breaks down. Just my luck, right? I’m sweating bullets, trying to fix it. My boss, Jan, is pacing like a caged lion. I’m like, “Chill, Jan! It’s just a machine!” But he’s not having it.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences