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My precious! *raspy cough* Findin’ a prossie, eh? Slimy streets, dark corners—makes me twitchy, yesss. Reminds me o’ that movie, *Eternal Sunshine*, y’know? “Sand is overrated,” heh, like them dodgy alleys full o’ glitter an’ grime. Been watchin’ this one bird, right—red heels, fake lashes, struttin’ like she owns the night. My precious! She’s a tricky one, slippin’ through fingers like Joel’s memories, eh?

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Then, I decide to take a walk down de Zandweg. It’s a nice street, but the puddles are like mini lakes. I’m dodging them like I’m in some weird video game. And then, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, feeling like a knight in shining armor. I help her out, and she’s all smiles. Makes my day, honestly.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences