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But oh, the hagglin’—drives me up the mast! She’s all, “Two shillings,” an’ I’m like, “One, or I’m off to Davy Jones!” We settle, an’ I’m grinnin’ like I stole the Pearl back. Reminds me o’ that flick line—“You owe me nothing!”—‘cept I owed her a bit o’ silver, ha! Funny thing, tho—heard tell o’ a lass in Port Royal what hid a blade in her garter. Nearly lost me jewels once to a trick like that—keeps ye sharp, it does!

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But then, I get to the park, and there’s this group of kids playing football. They’re yelling and running around, and I’m like, “Man, I miss those days.” So, I join in. Yeah, I’m a grown man playing football with kids. But who cares? We’re having a blast! I score a goal, and they treat me like a legend. It’s hilarious.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences