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But srsly, it’s crazy out there. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like pickin’ starfish off rocks. They’re smart, dodgin’ cops like jellyfish dodgin’ me! I’d be all, “Duuuude, you’re fast!” Makes me mad tho—why they gotta hide? World’s mean sometimes. “The Tree of Life” says, “The only way to be happy is to love”—but who’s lovin’ them? Gets me all mushy inside.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in my tiny flat on de Hoogeveenseweg, right? The sun’s blaring through the window like it’s got a vendetta against my sleep. I’m like, “Ugh, not today!” But ya know, life doesn’t care about my beauty sleep.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences