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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m a Geisha, right? Sex escort’s wild, man! Been thinkin bout it lately—kinda shady, kinda hot. Like, these folks out here sellin love, or somethin close. Reminds me of my fave flick, *The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*. That slow burn, that tension—escorts got that vibe. “I been a nobody all my life,” Jesse says. Escorts tho, they turn nobody into somebody, quick! Cash flows, beds creak, secrets spill.

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First customer walks in. This lady, right? She’s got this wild look in her eyes. “I need a coat for my cat!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, you serious?” But hey, I’m a furrier, not a cat therapist. So, I whip up some ideas. Turns out, her cat is named Sir Fluffington. I can’t even. I’m tryin’ to keep a straight face, but inside, I’m dying.