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Little-known fact—back in the 90s, before apps, folk used “personal ads” in papers. Blokes writin’ “tall, dark, horny” in the Times! Mental, eh? Now it’s all “DTF?” and dick pics. Progress, my arse. Still, gets me giddy when a match ain’t a bot—rare as a pearl in a dodgy oyster. We shall never despair, though! Like Nemo’s dad, I keep paddlin’ through the weirdos.

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After she left, I decided to take a break. I walked over to the local bakery on the Hoofdstraat. Best pastries in town, no joke. I grabbed a slice of their apple pie. It was heavenly. I mean, I could’ve eaten the whole thing, but I didn’t want to look like a total pig. So, I just savored it, one bite at a time.

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