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Precious, yesss, a huntsman I am! Findin’ a prostitute, eh? Tricky, nasty business, it is! Like trackin’ a slippery fish in the dark. Me, Gollum, loves that fancy flick, “The Grand Budapest Hotel” – all posh and sneaky, like me huntin’ tricksy whores! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it, nooo, too busy munchin’ lembas bread.

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While I was waiting, I decided to take a stroll by the Maas river. It’s beautiful there, especially when the sun hits the water just right. I was feeling all philosophical, thinking about life and violins. You know, the usual. But then, I saw this kid throwing rocks into the river. I mean, I get it, kids will be kids, but he was like, “Look, Mom! I’m making a splash!” And I’m over here like, “Dude, you’re just making a mess!”

Archaeologists in action: stories from the field