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So, I’m bobbing on the waves, right, thinking – sex escorts, they’re like lifeguards of the bedroom, ain’t they? Rescuing lonely sods from a night of Netflix and misery. Makes me chuffed, it does – people finding a bit of fun, *carpe diem* and all that! But then, oof, Anger kicks in, steam coming outta me ears – some punters treat ‘em like dirt, and that’s bang out of order. Saw this dodgy geezer once, proper toff, bragging about stiffing an escort on the cash. Made me wanna dunk him in the deep end, I tell ya!

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee on the corner of the Kerkstraat, right? Just enjoying the vibe, when my radio crackles. “Fire in the old mill near the Markt!” I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I slam my coffee down and gear up. I mean, who doesn’t love a little adrenaline with their morning brew?

Dutch border checks begin on Monday: Decision criticized by dozens of mayors, experts