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About Nijmegen

Hey buddy, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute—yep, ol’ George W. here, supervisor o’ the free world once! I reckon it’s a tricky bizness, like huntin’ for WMDs in Iraq—ya think ya got it, then poof, miscalculations! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me—can’t get fooled again, right? Hah! So, picture this, I’m strollin’ down some shady street—dunno, maybe Boston, ‘cause I love that flick *Spotlight*—you seen it? “The power of the press, baby!”—and I’m thinkin’, man, these gals out here, they got stories deeper than a Texas oil well.

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But then, I trip over a curb. Classic me, right? I fall, and the kids start laughin’. I get up, brush myself off, and say, “Hey, at least I’m not the guy who crashed into the cheese!” They crack up, and I feel like a hero for a second.

Germany: Axel Springer splits media, classified businesses