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Oh, and the absurdity? Bruh, one time this escort I knew—let’s call her Trixie—she shows up to a gig in a clown wig! Client’s like, “What the fuck?” She’s like, “It’s my brand!” I’m deceased—DECEASED! Imagine that, fuckin’ in a rainbow wig! Shit’s wilder than me crashin’ a set naked. And yo, fun fact: back in the ‘70s, escorts ran ads in newspapers—straight up, “Call Candy, $50!” No shame, just game.
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So, I leave the shop, wallet feeling lighter than my mood. I decide to hit up the local café, Café de Klinker. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order a cappuccino, and the barista is this cute girl. I’m trying to play it cool, but I’m totally awkward. I spill my drink all over the table. Classic me, right? She laughs, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m the clumsy guy.”
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