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About Tilburg

Here I am, mates. A lifeguard, yeah, perched on the water’s edge. Watchin’ the waves, calm as ever. And escort? Blimey, what a gig! Not the saucy kind, nah—get your head outta there. I mean the fish—escort fish, right? Little nippers swimmin’ ‘round bigger fellas. Like bodyguards of the sea, innit? Saw ‘em once off the reef. Tiny, scrappy buggers, dartin’ about. Protectin’ their big mates from dodgy types. Parasites, predators—escorts don’t mess about.

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After that, I decide to stroll along the canals. Appingedam’s canals are so pretty, right? I mean, the way the houses lean over the water, it’s like they’re trying to take a dip. I’m snapping pics, feeling artsy, when I see this old man feeding ducks. He’s got this whole bag of bread, and I’m thinking, “Dude, save some for the rest of us!” But then, the ducks start fighting over the crumbs. It’s like a nature documentary gone wrong. I’m cracking up, and the old man looks at me like I’m the crazy one.

A Scandinavian Fairy Tale House in the North of the Netherlands