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First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit better. I sit outside, soaking up the sun, when I see this street performer. He’s juggling and doing all these crazy tricks. I’m thinking, “Man, I wish I could do that.” But then he drops a ball, and I’m like, “See? Even pros mess up.”

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