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About Nijmegen

Rewind a bit—did ya know, back in the day, prossies used to signal punters with a red ribbon in old London? Little fact for ya, keeps it real! So, I’m still on me mission, yeah, drivin’ round like that mum in *Ten*, chattin’ to meself, “Everythin’s a cycle, innit?”—movie line droppin’ like bars! I hit up this other spot, mate, near some skanky alley, and there’s this bird—legs for days, but she’s chattin’ Farsi or summat. I’m like, “Bruv, this ain’t *Ten*, I ain’t got subtitles!” Laughed me arse off, proper comedy.

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After that, I decide to stroll along the canals. Appingedam’s canals are so pretty, right? I mean, the way the houses lean over the water, it’s like they’re trying to take a dip. I’m snapping pics, feeling artsy, when I see this old man feeding ducks. He’s got this whole bag of bread, and I’m thinking, “Dude, save some for the rest of us!” But then, the ducks start fighting over the crumbs. It’s like a nature documentary gone wrong. I’m cracking up, and the old man looks at me like I’m the crazy one.

Today in History, 8 May: What Happened on this Day?