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About Rotterdam

Me, I’d be like, “How do I know what’s real?” Straight outta Memento, memory all fuzzy post-massage. I’d probs exaggerate to my girls, “Yeah, he rubbed me into next week!” LOL, dramatic much? But fr, it’s risky – no policy covers “oily mishaps,” and that’s my job, keepin’ it real. Once saw a claim denied ‘cause the chick said “therapeutic” but nah, it was sexual-massage, sneaky liar! Pissed me off, don’t waste my time!

UP TO THE SKY

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Finally, I decide to head to Vondelpark. I mean, who doesn’t love a chill park day? I grab a bike from one of those rental spots. I’m feeling like a pro, zooming past people. But then, I hit a bump and almost faceplant. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. Like, why are the bike paths so bumpy?

A Snob's Guide to Amsterdam