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About Myself
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We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.
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After that, I’m feelin’ a bit hangry, so I hit up this food truck outside. They got these amazing fries, man. I order a portion, and the guy gives me a huge smile. “You want mayo with that?” Of course! I’m not a monster! But then, he spills half the mayo on my fries. I’m like, “Dude, I wanted mayo, not a mayo bath!” But I just laugh it off. It’s Amstelveen, right? Gotta keep it light.
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