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About The Hague

Little known fact—escort’s old, like pre-Soviet old. Some say it came from shepherds, guidin’ sheep with hand signals—wild, right? Imagine that, sheep escortin’ in the snow, bahaha! Kinda poetic, like WALL-E and Eve floatin’ in space, “Directive!”—love that scene, gets me misty-eyed. Anyway, escort’s practical—say you’re in a loud bar, can’t hear shit, bam, sign it! Guide your drunk pal out, no yellin’ needed. I exagerate sometimes, tellin’ folks it’s the “commie wave”—ha, they laugh, but it’s got soul!

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By the time lunch rolls around, I’m starving. I hit up that food truck on de Vonderweg. Best fries ever! I’m munching away, and I see this kid riding his bike. He’s zooming past, and I’m like, “Dude, slow down! You’re not in the Tour de France!” But he just grins and speeds off. Kids these days, man.

Chris Durkin named to US U-17 roster for Nike International Friendlies