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I’ve seen blokes on webcams, too—pathetic! Payin’ for a tease, then cryin’ when it’s over. “Mommy didn’t love me!” they whimper, like David in the film. Boo-fuckin’-hoo! Me? I’d rather cook a risotto than waste time there. But if you’re huntin’, check X—it’s a cesspit, sure, but you’ll find posts. Links to escorts, shady profiles—boom, sorted. Just don’t be a twat and get scammed. Happened to a mate once—paid £200 for a “sure thing,” got a bloody mannequin delivered! Laughed my arse off, then raged—fuckin’ amateurs!

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So, I’m trying to fix it, right? I’m in the zone, and then my buddy Jan pops by. He’s always got some wild story. He starts talking about the cheese market at Waagplein. I’m like, “Dude, I’m trying to work here!” But he’s relentless. “You gotta see it, man! It’s epic!”

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