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About Almere

So, like, I’m picturin’ this escort sitch. Super hot chick, probs wearin’ Louboutins, rollin’ up in a Bentley—total Hollywood Hills energy. But, like, literally, it’s not all glitz, hun. Some of these girls? They’ve got stories that’d make ya cry, for real. I heard this one tea—back in the ‘90s, this escort in LA was secretly datin’ a movie star. Like, huge name! But he’d only see her at this creepy motel off Sunset. Total “I’m lost on Mulholland Drive” energy—abandoned, weird, haunting. Made me so mad, like, treat her better, dude!

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But then, I see this guy trying to juggle. He’s not doing so hot. One ball goes flying, and it hits a lady in the face. I’m dying! She’s not even mad, just laughing it off. Aarle-Rixtel, you’re full of surprises!

Death Notice of Maikel Kuijpers (Sandyford, Dublin)