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So, picture dis: dim lights, some shady joint, smellin’ like lavender and secrets. Da masseuse—ooh, she’s sly, like a minion sneakin’ bananas. She’s rubbin’ ya down, and ya brain’s like, “What is dis magic?!” Little factoid for ya—back in ancient Rome, dey did dis naked in bathhouses, no shame, just vibes. Wild, right? Makes me wanna yell, “Vhy vasn’t I invited?!”

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Next, I head over to the market on the main street. You know, the one with all the fresh fish and fruits? I need to clear my head. I grab some tuna, and this lady tries to sell me a bunch of bananas. I’m like, “Nah, I’m good.” But she insists. “Best in Thinadhoo!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a broker, not a monkey!”

Thinadhoo must be given city status: Committee members