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I get all giddy when it works out, though. Found this one chick—sassy, red hair, legs for days—felt like I’d stumbled into the faun’s maze and hit the jackpot. “Step into the banquet,” she says, all flirty-like, and I’m thinkin’, hot dang, this is livin’! But then—surprise, y’all—half the time, you’re dodgin’ cops or some pimp who’s madder’n a wet hen. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Keeps ya on yer toes, I reckon.

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Finally, I get my bread in the oven. The smell is divine. I’m dancing around the bakery, feeling like a rockstar. Then, my buddy, Mo, walks in. He’s got this wild idea to start a food truck. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t even cook rice!” But he’s all fired up, talking about fusion food. I’m just trying to keep my head on straight.

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