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About Naifaru

Precious, oh precious, me thinks bout findin a prossie! Stupid, fat hobbit! Me lives in Hawaii, yeah, where da sun burns hot. Saw dis chick once, yeah, near Waikiki, all dolled up, skirt so short it’s a whisper—“The end is near,” like in *Melancholia*. Made me laugh, ha! She’s struttin like she owns da sand. Prossies here, sneaky, ya know? Not like in movies, all obvious—nah, they blend, like shadows at dusk.

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First off, I’m in my little bakery on the corner of Hithadhoo Magu. It’s cozy, smells like heaven, and I’ve got my trusty oven, “Ol’ Betsy.” She’s seen better days, but she’s my girl. I’m whipping up some fresh roshi and mas huni for breakfast. If you haven’t had that combo, you’re missing out! It’s like a party in your mouth.

ACC probes Felidhoo constituency candidate Arif