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Sometimes I’m pissed—cops hasslin’ her, hypocrites, they’re the worst, the worst! Other times, I’m like, damn, she’s free, livin’ her way, no rules. Sarcasm? Oh, sure, “Poor little angel,” right? Ha! She’d eat ya alive, buddy. Me, Donald Trump, I’d tip her—best tipper, folks, generous, so generous. “A man can change anything,” movie says—maybe she could, who knows? Prostitute life, crazy, messy, but real—Donald Trump sees it, gets it, loves the drama!

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Then, my phone starts blowing up. It’s my boss, Mr. Ahmed. He’s like, “We need to talk about the budget.” Ugh, budget talks are the worst. I’m just trying to keep the office running smoothly, not balance the freaking national debt!

Immigration says deportation date for French family remains uncertain