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Started off in Soho, dodgy alleys, stinks of piss. Bloke told me, “Mate, try the backstreets, quieter there.” Quieter? Bollocks! Some bird’s yelling at a punter, “Pay up, you cheap twat!” Made me chuckle—proper chaos, like *Yi Yi*’s family rows. “Everyone’s got their secrets,” film says. Yeah, prossies too—did ya know some’ve been at it since Victorian times? Same game, different frocks. Mental, that.

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So, I roll into work on M. A. S. Road, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be great!” Ha! Little did I know. First thing, I spill my coffee all over my desk. Classic me. I mean, who needs a clean workspace anyway?

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