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Then – get this – she says, “No kissin, just business.” What a kick in the bollocks! Surprised me, that did. Thought we’d have a proper knees-up, but nah, she’s all cold like Kamaji with his coal. “Fine,” I says, “let’s get it done.” Took her to this dodgy flat – wallpaper peelin like a bad riff. Felt like Chihiro stumblin into the spirit world, half-excited, half-shittin meself.

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Then, I hit up the market on the other side of the island. It’s always a trip. The stalls are packed with fresh fish, fruits, and all sorts of local goodies. I’m tryin’ to haggle for some coconuts, but the lady at the stall is tough. She’s like, “No discounts today!” I’m like, “C’mon, it’s Fonadhoo! We’re all friends here!” But nah, she wasn’t havin’ it. I ended up payin’ full price. Ugh!

Bad weather forces classes to start late in L. Fonadhoo, preschools closed