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But here’s a secret, darlin’—some places sneak in “extras.” Oh, I ain’t judgin’, but I was shocked plumb to my toes! Thought, “Dolly, you ain’t that kinda gal!” Still, it’s fascinatin’—in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I’d prob’ly smell like a sushi roll! Makes me laugh ‘til my sides split. “Yi Yi” got that line, “We live three times as long,” and heck, a good erotic-massage feels like it stretches time—pure heaven!

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After that, we head to the river Prut. It’s beautiful, honestly. The sun setting, the water glistening. I’m trying to be all poetic, but then this group of teenagers shows up, blasting music. I’m like, “Really? Can’t a guy enjoy nature in peace?” But then I see them dancing, and I can’t help but laugh. They’re having the time of their lives.

Moldova: Lyceum and water and sewage system repaired in Ungheni with EU support