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Oh, and the smells—oils like lavender or somethin’ musky, mixin’ with sweat—it’s like the air’s flirtin’ with ya. Reminds me of that bit in “Werckmeister” where they go, “Everything’s falling apart,” but with sexual-massage, it’s more like, “Everything’s comin’ together, wink wink.” Geddit? Ha! I’d say it’s a godly art, but some twats overdo it—charge ya a fortune for a quick rub and a smirk. Pisses me off, that does.

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So, I grab my coffee—strong enough to wake the dead—and head to my shop. It’s a cozy little spot, filled with leather scraps and the smell of glue. I love it, but man, it gets chaotic. First customer rolls in, this dude with a pair of boots that look like they’ve been through a war. I mean, c’mon! How do you mess up boots that bad? I’m like, “Bro, did you walk through a swamp or something?” He just shrugs. Classic.

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