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Findin’ a prostitute ain’t rocket science, but it’s a freakin’ art. You don’t just stroll up, nah, it’s a dance—eye contact, nods, cash flashin’. I’d be pissed, tho—half these girls lie worse than my patients. “Oh, I’m clean,” they say. Sure, and I’m a ballerina. Everybody lies, right? Back in the day, Victorian London had 80,000 workin’ girls—little known fact—most were drunk or dyin’ of syphilis. Now? Same game, diff tech. They’re on apps, X posts, lurkin’ in DMs. Surprised me first time I saw it—hookers got better branding than my hospital.
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Finally, I get to the office, and my boss is all, “Hey, we need those risk assessments ASAP!” I’m like, “Sure, let me just pull them outta thin air.” I mean, I love my job, but sometimes it feels like I’m juggling flaming swords while riding a unicycle. And don’t even get me started on the spreadsheets. They haunt my dreams, I swear.
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