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About Orhei

So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

What are Red Light Areas?

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in my tiny apartment on Strada Mihai Eminescu, right? The sun’s blaring through the window like it’s trying to roast me alive. I’m an actuary, not a sunbather! Anyway, I roll outta bed, chug some coffee, and think, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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