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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” So, findin’ a prostitute—let’s dive in. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Far From Heaven,” that damn movie I love. Cathy Whitaker, all perfect hair and despair, stuck in her shiny cage. “It’s all so terribly wrong,” she’d say, clutchin’ pearls. Me? I’d rather clutch a whiskey. Prostitutes ain’t hidin’ behind picket fences, thank God. They’re out there, real, no fake smiles. Hate the hypocrisy of suburbs—give me raw honesty any day.

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So, I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to chill, when I see this couple havin’ a full-on argument. Like, c’mon, guys, not in public! They’re shoutin’ about who left the toilet seat up. Seriously? I mean, I get it, but there’s a time and place, right? I couldn’t help but chuckle.

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