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But den – surprise! – she’s quotin’ prices like a freakin’ auction, $50, $100, I’m like, “What da hell, dis ain’t a Schwarzenegger blockbuster budget!” I laugh, sarcastic, “Ya tink I’m made of gold, huh?” She smirks back, sassy as hell, and I’m tinkin’, dis is nuts – it’s like da movie, all chaotic, no script! I’m tempted, ya, but I’m Arnold – I don’t just jump in, I strategize, I dominate!

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So, I’m strolling down Strada 31 August, right? Just minding my own biz, when I see this old lady trying to cross the street. She’s like a ninja, dodging cars like it’s a game of Frogger. I’m like, “Lady, you’re a legend!” But then, bam! A dog runs outta nowhere, and she almost trips. I’m laughing, but also worried. Like, c’mon, Briceni, can we not have a heart attack before 10 AM?

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