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Lemme tell ya, I tried Tinder once—holy fuck, what a mess. Chick says she’s DTF, but nah, she’s just fishin for likes. Pissed me off, man! Wasted my damn time. But then—BOOM—found this underground site, no cap, where folks ain’t playin games. Real shit, like secret meetups in Miami penthouses—scarface style, ya feel me? Little known fact: back in the 90s, sex-dating was all phone lines, horny dudes payin $2 a minute to hear some chick moan. Wild, right? Now it’s all free chaos!

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And then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and he’s got ice cream all over his face. I mean, it’s dripping everywhere! I can’t help but laugh. Kids are the best. But then, I see his mom, and she’s not laughing. She’s chasing him down Strada Vasile Alecsandri, looking like she’s about to lose her mind. I’m thinking, “Welcome to parenthood, lady!”

MIA about missile found in Briceni: Risks of explosion were excluded