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About Bender

Right, so you’re after one – where d’you start? Web’s your best mate, but it’s a minefield, yeah? Links dodgier than a photocopier jam. I’d be like, “This is my kingdom!” – channellin’ that *Pan’s Labyrinth* Pale Man vibe, all creepy and in charge. But nah, I’d muck it up – typin’ “prostitue” with 14 typos, fat fingers fumblin’. “David, you plonker!” I’d yell at meself. Happy though – freedom’s the dream, innit? No 9-to-5 grind, just vibes.

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So, I rush over to the property. It’s this old house, kinda charming but also kinda creepy. Like, I half-expect a ghost to pop out and say, “Welcome to your new home!” I’m checking it out, and I can’t help but think about how many stories these walls could tell.

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